Fear creeps in.....

When people come to me with problems, i have always tried to get them out of it. Not sure if i have really helped any of them. But when, people come to me for sorting out their problems, it was a cakewalk for me. They are not my problems and i never get affected by them. Sometimes few of them, wont look like a problem at all for me.But then, i have never let anyone down stating the above. Well facing all those and trying to help, made me a different person altogether.

There was a time, where i was so confident about me not facing a single problem in future. When people look up to you, you shall really have that confidence. But then, as people say, sailing the sea is not always smooth. At the beginning i expected the sea to be a little rough, i had the confidence to sail through it. But i never expected a storm and the best part was i was not able to forecast too. The pace at which it shattered my confidence was too fast, before i could realize what was happening i was among the debris of my own life.

I was putting up a brave face, because i had to meet the people for whom i have solved problems in the past. Especially when people see me as different guy, i cannot show them that my confidence is broken. When you put up a false face, that's where the fear creeps in. It slowly takes over you and in no time, you are the not the person, whom you once used to be.

I am not stating that i was strong before, but to put in exact words, i was not tested before. And now with a situation in hand, it's really hard to judge myself.
Judging myself, was one part of the puzzle, rest was solving it. Internal conflicts and emotional tantrums takes me for a ride at times. I still believe i have answers for all the questions of mine. Of course anybody who can pause and think can answer and i am of that kind.

I can see a little light shining in distant. I believe, its sunshine but there is also a little fear of it being a lightning. Journey continues as of now...Let the end be revealed soon....

Freedom......

Few decades back the word freedom means, one country getting freed from another. Now the meaning of the word has gone through lot of changes and you just can’t fix one synonym for it. But all these meanings have got one thing in common and that’s called complaining. We always have problems with others when it comes to doing things which we love the most. Things which we love to do are always reviewed by others or dependent on others, so we really don’t have the freedom to control those. And as usual we complain about it or fight for it.

In between all these, there is question which keeps on striking me for a while now. The question is “Do we really give the freedom to our self, which we always expect from others?” Well to put that question in clear way “Do we really allow our self or give permission to do things which we really like? “ how many times we have not done something because, we don’t want to look bad before others or we don’t want to fail in that thing. We don’t really allow ourselves to be free of such thoughts. We always limit ourselves in doing things. Even a small thing looks seemingly impossible. It is the mind which controls our action. We always put a boundary to our mind, so that it can’t think beyond that. And we make those boundaries because we are afraid to be powerful. We all have a common notion that power makes us insecure in someway or the other. And we don’t exactly know how it does. So what’s the point in feeling insecure about that?

So next time, before we complain about our freedom being denied by others we just have to think of giving freedom to ourselves. And of course fighting for freedom and giving freedom both needs courage. You need to have that thing in yourselves or else freedom is always a distant dream. If you really feel that you have that courage then sure try being god for at least one day